“You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.”   – Oprah Winfrey

We know when we’re not being true to ourselves. We know it by the feeling we get inside. It could be a nagging thought in the back of our heads; a nervous feeling in our stomachs; an ache in our chest. It could even manifest itself in shortness of breath and a panicky feeling.

Not always, but often, not being true to ourselves is a result of pressure being put on us by someone else to be something other than ourselves. The other person’s reasons for doing so could be selfish: they see us in an idealized form and want us to mold ourselves to that form, or, they have high expectations for us that will make them feel better if we meet them. Their reasons for doing so could also be societal: they want us to mold ourselves to society’s norms so we will be more acceptable to others.

If you have ever tried to live up to someone’s ideal of you or tried to change who you are so others will accept you, you probably know that doing either of these things is almost impossible. And even if you are successful, maintaining either for a long period of time is also almost impossible. Somewhere along the line your true self will rebel. It may manifest itself in the physical symptoms described above, which could become serious and result in depression, panic attacks, or a nervous breakdown.

It’s not easy being our true selves, either, or even finding our true selves, for that matter. The best way to do so, and not let someone else pull the strings, is to listen to ourselves. That nagging thought in the back of your head comes from a place of truth. If you let it guide you, it will eventually become the script you are writing about your own life. 

We can write our own script and act it out by being strong and understanding that we know what’s best for us. As we grow and learn, our true selves grow and learn with us and eventually show themselves to us. Greeting them with open arms and allowing them the freedom to live in the light is so much better than hiding them in the dark. 

If someone is pressuring you to be someone other than who you are, no matter their reason for doing so, you can be assured they aren’t doing it for you. They will say they are, but they are not. Deciding to take the step to be our true selves and write our own script may be one of the most difficult things we do. None of us wants to disappoint someone else. We may also live in fear of that person.

Living not to disappoint, or living in fear, is not living, and it is definitely not being our true selves. When we make the decision to take the reigns or cut the strings, as scary as that may be, we will notice an immediate sense of relief. That is not to say there won’t still be difficult times or that mistakes won’t be made. They will be more manageable, however, when approached from a place of truth. As in all lives and in all scripts, there will be many bumps along the road. After all, isn’t overcoming bumps in the road and finding happiness what a good script is all about?